Remember thou art mortal.

Our politician who art indicted
hollowed be thy fame.
Thy kingdom’s gone.
Thy will long done
on earth but never in heaven.
You gave us each day our daily bread
and promised us jam tomorrow;
yet we forgive those who trespass against us,
but you lead us into temptation
and delivered all this upheaval.
For thine was the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
built on the never never.
Again.

The Torch of the Unknown Journalist

Our Journalist who art unknown,

Hallowed be thy flame.

Thy acumen come.

Thy research be done

on earth as it is in The Guardian.

Give us this day our daily torch,

and deliver us our press passes,

as we ne’er forgive those who govern against us;

and lead us not into sensation,

but deliver us from Evil’s empire.

For thine is the freedom

to distil truth from power and get the story.

Forever endeavour.

Amen.